The Importance of Spiritual Guidance before Marriage

Birth, marriage and death are the most important events in the life-cycle of man. One of the important duties of a householder is to give birth to a good offspring through married life. Ironically, we can see around us many children or youth who are physically handicapped, mentally retarded or with criminal tendencies, psychological problems, drug addiction etc. According to medical science, such handicaps are due to genetic factors.  However, medical science has no solution to prevent such congenital handicaps. On a deep analysis, we can see that genetic problems are the result of a distorted life. Genetic problems, as we know, are related to the lives of our ancestors. The Indian sages called these genetic problems as pitru dosha, i.e. the demerit of ancestral souls. If we term genetic problem as pitru dosha in the native tongue, our secular intelligentsia would pounce upon us saying that all this is superstition.The physical and psychological traits of parents are transferred to the children. Every human cell or DNA is the aggregate of human experiences, values, thoughts and actions of an individual carried through a long chain of existence. According to Navajyotisree Karunakara Guru, pitru dosha is the result of wrong values, thoughts and actions in the life of our ancestors, which influence the life and destiny of offspring. Therefore, it becomes necessary to be aware of the ancestral influences with which our souls and families are affected. As we know, it cannot be known through laboratory methods, but only through the special faculty of supramental vision of a realized seer. Here lies the need for a source of authentic spiritual guidance to know about the unknown factors that affect our life and destiny. 

Next, let us take up the issue of marriage. Marriage, as well all know, is for the purpose of begetting progeny, for the continuity of family lineage. Nowadays, we see that there is lot of disharmony in our homes, between husband and wife and between parents and children. Many marriages break down with its unpleasant consequences because these marriages take place driven by blind emotions. There is a general ignorance about the sacred institution of marriage and family. Normally, parents marry off their children viewing only the material aspects of the bride and bridegroom such as physical attraction, education, wealth, family status, etc. However, the soul harmony of the couple, the spiritual status of ancestral souls, the background of family worship tradition, etc. are not considered.  

A soul which is not spiritually awakened could be a hindrance to a spiritually developed soul. Some souls may be spiritually aligned in a different way that would not be in harmony with the spiritual inclination of the other. For example, the husband may be following a particular tradition, while the wife would be deeply devoted to some other sect or way of worship. Such spiritual mismatch of couples would lead to disharmony and lack of peace in married life. 

Secondly, the parental and ancestral background of the couple should be spiritually evaluated before marriage. Ancestors with a wicked karmic background may cause the birth of undesired progeny with similar wicked tendencies. The spiritual distortions and karmic faults of ancestors might lead to the birth of children with genetic disabilities. Therefore, a girl or boy should marry considering the similarity of their ancestral background. However, caste background, physical beauty, social status and wealth need not be seen for such a spiritual evaluation. 

Thirdly, the spiritual as well as karmic background of the couples should be compatible. The baggage of good and bad karma and the amount of virtue or vice (punya and papa) in the soul decides the success or failure of any individual in life. For a successful marriage, the punya of both the souls should be in equilibrium. A boy with a tendency to steal can be married to a girl with similar tendency; otherwise, it would cause undesired problem in married life. The disharmony and severe problems faced by families today are due to the ignorance about these factors and lack of spiritual guidance. Some Hindu families approach astrologers to know about the suitability of marriage. However, astrological consultation may not always give you the complete truth. Therefore, it is imperative that we seek the guidance of an all-knowing Guru and understand the sacred institution of family and marriage in its spiritual perspective so that we would be better placed to fulfill dharma, artha, kama and moksha - the value system guiding our social life.

Spirituall Aspects behind Marriage and Childbirth

The painful conflicts in the families, the breakdown of marriages, incidents of physical as well as mental deformities and the delinquent behaviour of children are caused by the thoughtless marriages performed by ignorant parents, who have neither understood the path of spiritual guidance from a wise seer nor its positive effects in life. Sensual gratification rather than spiritual fulfillment is guiding the man-woman relationship. The increasing trend of abortions, the culture of contractual marriages and divorces reflect this moral degradation.

Humankind has reached this ruinous state because our society has long ago deviated from the guidance of omniscient sages who can reveal the true secrets of life. Man has become more religious than spiritual. He has been unable to grasp the depth of important life-cycle ceremonies like marriage, birth and death, the spiritual aspect of man-woman relationship etc. These life-cycle ceremonies and relationships are divine in nature because they are related to one’s spiritual evolution and that of the family stock or gotra. The breakdown of the institution of family seen in the advanced Western countries is owing to this spiritual ignorance about the depth of family life. 

Navajyothisree Karunakara Guru said that if a woman could be led to spiritual enlightenment that family would become blessed and through such uplifted families, the society and the nation would evolve to a healthy future. A woman through her virtuousness can guide her family to a positive direction. However, she needs spiritual guidance for the nourishment of her family. We can receive spiritual guidance only from an elevated seer. Not knowing the true character of an elevated seer, a few women fall in the trap of fake swamis, fakirs, padiris, tantriks and jyotishis and are cheated, which brings a bad name to the brotherhood of elevated spiritual masters, authentic ashrams and spiritual institutions.

We should not confuse the tantriks, jyotishis, evangelists, priests and the like with the true guru concept. Because of such bogus and questionable spiritual practices and beliefs and because of their own ignorance about true spirituality, both the learned and the uneducated generally view ashrams and gurus with suspicion. It would be beneficial to go through the Sree Gurugita published by Santhigiri Ashram, which mentions about the different types of gurus and the characteristics of a true Guru. 

We must realize that without a true preceptor, we cannot improve spiritually and materially. Some rich communities in India such as Marwaris, Sindhis, Punjabis and Gujaratis became prosperous because they lived respecting and serving their gurus and accepting their guidance. Recently somebody reported that Kerala spends approx. Rs.10, 000 billion per annum on rituals in temples, which is a sign that people are getting more and more ritualistic than spiritual. Different from this crowd of favour seekers at the doors of temples and darghas, for the people in the sagely path, spirituality is a meritorious way of life that would transform them for the better both spiritually and materially.

A successful and enduring marriage is fundamental to the health of a family, which is possible only when the couples are united spiritually. Therefore, a Guru gives the nod for marriage only after looking into the spiritual, cultural and ancestral background of couples. A mismatch in any of these aspects would adversely affect their family life including the life of their children. However, this need not be on the basis of one’s birth, caste, community and religion. It is purely a spiritual alignment of couples under the All-knowing Guru. With this type of marriage a pristine gotra or Guru Parampara is born.

Guru cleanses the harmful astral and ancestral aspects of the marriageable couple for the birth of a pure lineage free from cultural and genetic drawbacks. After marriage, Guru gives the couple necessary guidance on how to live as husband and wife. He advises about the prayers, sankalpam and other sacred deeds including the auspicious time for the birth of a virtuous child. The followers of Guru perform certain rituals and prayers, especially during the seventh month, which helps the developing baby in the womb. Thus, the life of the couple becomes spiritually oriented. 

Bringing up a child too is as important as the regimen and rituals required for the birth of a fortunate child, free of genetic and cultural drawbacks. The habits of a child are moulded during its early years and adolescence. Good and bad children are born from a mother. The mother should pray and do sankalpam for getting rid of the bad traits in children. The mother should try to change the bad characteristics through loving and painful prayer. Like food, which is important for the body, prayer is as much important for the soul. 

The women in the path of Guru are weaned away from decadent and meritless religious beliefs and rituals and atheistic beliefs of some people who neglect spiritual aspects altogether. They are guided to a healthy spiritual vision based on eternal values and verities based on the sage tradition of India. In the final count, we can say that a true social transformation can take place only through spiritually sensitized women and families in the society. 

Spiritual masters and prophets were innumerable in human history, but their followers seem to have given only a cursory importance to the astral aspects behind marriage and childbirth including the spiritual mentoring of women. The guidance initiated by Navajyothisree Karunakara Guru is a correction in this regard.

Mukundan PR